Fin de circle

Hagen, in a happy moment

Today, my brother’s dog passed away after nearly 20 years of life, and over 10 years after my brother. She was the ward of my parents until her passing, let go as her body failed her in a cascade of different ways as happens with dogs who live that long.

There’s some extra pain with this, in that she outlived my brother, who died rather than face the agony of having to have a vet euthanize his other dog, among other things that drove him into a crisis I didn’t know about from 600 miles away. He was already in my mind last night after my daughter’s college graduation…another milestone he couldn’t share in among so many. And that my parents couldn’t share in because of Hagen’s decline.

I will never stop being sad/angry/more sad/ self-blaming over my brother’s death. And now his last living legacy has passed, and it’s a bitter chaser to everything else positive in the present and ahead.

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